Ok, I’ve been on some interesting first dates, but this was probably ‘up there’ on the list. We met online (sorry, again) and he is a super nice guy. The kind of nice that makes you think he might be beating puppies in his basement because nobody can be that nice. We were off to a bit of a rocky start, but I started getting to know him and was looking forward to our Friday night date (this was just a month or so ago). He had a plan. He made it clear to me that he had a plan and a backup plan. Now, that’s the kind of date I can get on board with. I had a feeling it was dancing. Now, I love dancing, but I wasn’t sure if he did.
He comes and picks me up and we get into the car and he starts telling me how nervous he was when coming to get me. That’s great and everything, but also one of those awkwardly honest things I don’t need to hear. I’m sure you know the awkward honesty. It’s like saying “Wow, I was so worried you’d be a lot bigger than in your pictures, but I’m so relieved you’re only a little bigger.” Anyway, so ten seconds later he’s saying how he was thinking about what would be a good first song for us to hear together. **awkward** So, he puts the song on that he settled upon and precedes the intro with the words “do you like punk?” Oh dear. So, on comes some heavy guitar riff and I ask him what song this is and he says “It’s “First Date” by Blink 182.” Oh dear. NO PRESSURE. So then we drive through the neighbourhood and he shows me the three houses he’s lived in. I know, you’re on the edge of your seat.
Moving awkwardly along, an hour later we’re in the dance studio, separated, having already learned the Cha Cha (I use the term “learned” loosely here) and are on to the International Rumba. The instructor loudly proclaims this to be the “sexiest dance on the planet.” **awkward** Did I mention this is the most conservative dude I’ve ever met? So, as it turns out, Mr. Left Feet can’t hear the beat in the music. Nor can he dance. So we stand there, stationary, in closed dance position while I wait for him to start, and he basically just waits for something, anything, to happen. So there we are, standing still on the dance floor while other couples waltz around us in every direction. Eventually I have to lead. Things are just getting worse and worse. I felt so bad for this poor guy because he obviously wanted to do something I would enjoy and he put so much thought and effort into the date. We actually got to talk for about an hour after Dancing Disaster had wrapped up. He really is a great guy, just uh… poor date choice…
So I didn’t hold the date against him, but I also didn’t feel anything in our hours on the phone or during our date. He’s easy to talk to, but I didn’t feel anything. Zilch. So I declined the second date, despite him being a total catch (just not for me). He persisted, called me, poured his heart out, asked for one more chance, and I really really wanted to give it to him just to make sure there was nothing there. I clung to my instincts and politely declined his requests. Letting down the nice guys is so very very hard.
What’s the poorest date choice you’ve endured?
- Blondie
Hmmm. During college, I took this girl to the movies. She had a really annoying laugh and on top of that she didn’t sound like she was actually IN college whenever she opened her mouth. She was definitely a looker though. That caught me initially but lost interest after she started blowing hot air. You need to have both the beauty and brains.
And secondly, I learned from the tender age of 5 that nice guys always finish last, bad boys always win even if they don’t want to or seem to care and to the right mix of ying and yang in a guy always get the girls. Noo too mushy or good guy and not total jerk or douchebag. So I’ve heard.
Nice guys don’t always finish last, but I just didn’t have a connection with him. I don’t know if I’ve been on any dates with people who had no brains, but at least it was a movie and not a long discussion over dinner or something!
Dave&Buster’s. This arcade/restaurant deal in the States. It’s supposed to be fun, but there were kids running around everywhere, so I felt like we were 10-years-old. And it was boring. And awkward.
Man, that would actually be pretty fun with the right person. But if you’re bored and awkward in a place like THAT, you’re hanging with the wrong guy!
I have a really hard time saying no to people, even if I really don’t want to do something (which made me really popular in college! – ha! Kidding!). There was a really REALLY nerdy guy in one of my classes and to my surprise he asked me to a movie one night. Even though I really didn’t want to go, I had no excuse readily available so we met at the theatre and watched some nerdy movie of his choice.
Afterwards he offered to drive me home (alarm bells were ringing) but it was cold, and late and the bus wasn’t coming for another 30 mins so I accepted.
He drove a mini van, with a garter belt hanging on the mirror. I had to ask why, to which he replied it was from his sister’s wedding.
We got to my house, he shut off his incest-mobile and invited himself in. After much awkward conversation, all of a sudden he put on my slippers and ran out of my house. I was so tempted to lock the door after him and take the slippers as a loss, but they were a present from my best friend, plus I was a little curious.
After a few minutes he came back (much to my dismay) and explained that he thought he heard somebody trying to steal his van.
Eventually he left, and I stayed away from nerds for a very long time after that.
I will be the first to say that I’m a self professed geek. I’m pretty nerdy, although I don’t look it. I have learned HTML by myself, love submarines and go crazy for all things geek. I do not, however, have any items of my brother’s hanging from my rearview! We have a guest post later this week about a minivan actually!
Hah, I understand the attraction thing. The ONE guy I met up from online was perfect…funny, older, well-established, good looking. But I knew as SOON as I met him I wasn’t attracted. Not even a little. There’s not much you can do about that.
Oh, there’s another post coming about attraction! But he was definitely a good looking guy, there just wasn’t chemistry. Oh well.
Here by way of Candace! Love the site!
Yikes, can you say awwwwkward!I have a nerd date tonight and this just made me a little nervous as to what will happen when we run out of things to say about zombies.
My worst date? After I had lost a lot of weight I was on a first internet date. I ran into a lot of people at the comedy club where we went and about twenty people surrounding me with comments “you’ve lost a person,” “oh my lord i didnt realize you were so fat before.” They meant well but I couldn’t act normal the rest of the night…
Hi Carissa! Thanks for stopping by! *pulls up a chair for you and gets you a footstool* Man, I think I could talk about zombies for about as long as it took me to laugh awkwardly and walk back the way I came.
Oh, it’s so terrible when people mean well and it completely backfires! But congrats on losing a lot of weight!
here is a question I posed to CJ yesterday….how do you politely decline a really nice guy? You don’t want to mislead the poor soul b/c he is a super nice guy, yet you are totally not into him. There is a guy who has called me 3x since we went for coffee on the weekend. Gotta give him props for persistence – if it was wanted attention, yet it’s not. Last night I let the phone ring b/c I didn’t know what to say to him.
any input??
Well I might as well post this on my blog for the world to see. I generally tell them that I don’t think we’re right for each other, and that we might not be able to provide what the other is looking for. That way, you’re not saying there’s a problem with THEM, right? And it’s always true. It usually goes over alright, until they go crazy and send you a letter postmarked “Crazy Town”. Tune in tomorrow for THAT story!
It was Valentine’s day, my soon to be boyfriend was away working. We weren’t yet official so I didn’t want him to think I was nuts and that I would wait by the phone for his call… (cell phone NEVER left my side) Anyways, I knew there was a guy at work who definatly was crushing on me, but he wasnt really my type, more of the older brother kinda of guy.
So I thought it was obvious that I wasn’t looking for anyone since I would be at work gushing over my new heart-throb but apparently it wasn’t as aparent as I thought.
I woke up on Valentine’s day pretty late, it was about 10:30 or 11.. and I hear people in my living room… my roomates and…. Joe! All I could think was “oh I’m so sick, I can’t leave my room…” and then my roommate comes in.. I’m trying to tell her I am SICK…very very Sick but she insists on me leaving my room and coming to see a surprise….
And there he is.. all dressed up…chocolates in one hand…and the biggest Gerbra Daisy to ever exist…It was so beautiful…
ANYWAYS..
“NEw Scotland.. would you please come out to dinner with me…Anywhere you would like. Anywhere..”
Well “joe” thanks so much for everything you’ve done today but I am super sick.. I dont feel well at all… I’m really sorry.
“Anywhere you want, Banff Springs, ANYWHERE?”
“well if I feel better, I’ll let you know. Thanks again Joe”
Hour later
RING RING RING RING
NOT WHO I WANTED TO HEAR FROM!
Oh Hi Joe…Well I’m really not feeling much better… Oh you made reservations.. oh… for 7:00.. formal Attire… oh..deposit..ok.. sounds good see you then…
I went out to dinner, cell phone in hand, and it rings.. I lie… I said it was my mom… and it was him! my soon to be boyfriend… I told Joe I had to take the call and I headed to the bathroom… I was so happy he called me.. but he didnt sound to impressed that I was on a date… not mad but upset he wasnt there. So I told him the date was going to end and hopfully soon. By the end of that date he thought I was smitten. Well I was… just not with him. So he invited to a movie, I polited declined. He would no give up, not for one second. I figured you know what he KNEW I didnt really want to go on the date but yet he made the reservations and he KNEW I couldn’t say no… So I gave it to him.. I said “I’m sorry Joe but no I will not going to this movie. I dont care if you bought the tickets already, I’m going home to call my boyfriend!!”
I Lied. Apparently I broke his heart. Everyone at work the next day was so upset with me. I think he was more upset that he spent so much money on me…the flower alone was 45.00 FOR ONE FLOWER!
Needless to say the rest of my valentines day night was wonderful, spent on the phone in the comfort of my home.
Wow, thanks for your novel, NS! Sometimes those nights spent on the phone with the RIGHT dude are enough to overshadow all the moments ever spent with the WRONG dude!
Good for you that you didn’t just ‘pretend’ to lose that guy’s email address. Hope the next date is better
ahem, the next date?!
Sorry I meant to post the above comment on a diffferent post of yours! Ooops!